Authenticity: How to be Unapologetically Yourself
Hey, Sunshine! It has been way too long, and I have missed you tremendously. Thank you so much for coming back to my page! I have finally found some time to get back to blogging and lately I have been inspired to learn more about authenticity and being unapologetically myself. Authenticity: How to be Unapologetically Yourself
Before we get started let’s define authenticity. Authenticity is defined as the “degree to which a person’s actions are congruent with his or her beliefs and desires, despite external pressures to conformity.” For this post I want to place a special emphasis on “…despite external pressures to conformity.“
I need to give some credit to a woman I have looked up to for years now. Breeny Lee is one of the most empowering women I have watched on Youtube and I highly suggest anyone looking for life advice to watch her videos. I recently listened to one of her talks on authenticity and it gave me an incentive to share my version on the blog. I will insert her channel here.
The 6 Things I have Learned about Authenticity:
1. Who… are… you?
I know. This is the question we spend our entire lives trying to figure out.
In retrospect, it is difficult to answer considering that we are constantly changing. We live in two worlds: There’s the world in its entirety and then there’s our own world, or our bubble as people like to call it. It’s this idea that “everything revolves around me.”
It is so easy nowadays to forget that each one of us was born to be authentic. Think back to when you were little. It didn’t matter what you were wearing, what your physical appearance looked like, or if you had a certain “aesthetic” on Instagram. Making friends in preschool was like second nature because of how genuine and insignificant everything was. What changed?
As we grow older there are expectations on what is socially acceptable. What’s mind blowing is that we follow this norm throughout our entire lives and next thing you know, you are 70 years old telling your grandchild that your biggest regret was not living your truth.
So, who are you? Although we change (and that is completely okay by the way), there is a foundation that doesn’t really change: our moral compass. At our core, we know that authenticity comes from kindness, love, forgiveness, respect, and anything else that cannot be seen. What I mean by this is that we can get engrossed in the superficial (designer brands, physical appearance, Instagram likes, etc.) to an extent where we lose ourselves and place an unnecessarily high value on things that are just temporary.
So, who are you and what do you stand for? Remember, we were born to be authentic. So wear what YOU want. Part your hair the way YOU want to. Become friends with people who treat YOU right. You are beautiful and the world needs the authentic you, not the fabricated version we see on social media.
2. Nobody cares…and if they do, take it as a compliment
Take a deep breath. Okay one more. I know you are tired of caring about what people think. It’s annoying, huh? Allow me to let you in on a secret.
They don’t care. Remember how I said we all live in two worlds? There’s the world and there’s our world. Everyone is so focused on their own problems that no one even remotely remembers how red your face got when you were presenting in class. So what, anyway? I know this can be hard to remember but realize that your inner voice can also create complete and utter chaos in your mind. Don’t underestimate your inner voice, by the way. Half of your overthinking comes from that annoying, constant conversation in your head!
What if they do “care”? Say, for example, they make a stupid comment about your laugh or an insecurity you have. Every time somebody says something rude just imagine holding up a mirror in front of their face because that person is projecting their insecurities onto you. Either you intimidate them or you have something that they lack. All you need to do when somebody says something rude is smile and then ask, “and what about it?”
Allow me to give you some examples:
“Your forehead is really big.”
“And what about it?”
“Your outfit looks bad. I would change.”
“And what about it? I like my outfit and that’s really all that matters.”
“That was so weird I got secondhand embarrassment.”
“And what about it? That sounds like a personal problem.”
Four words. “And what about it?”
Constructive criticism is one thing, but there are too many people out there trying to bring others down because they aren’t comfortable in their own skin. Cut them off if you need to. You survived perfectly fine before them, and to be completely honest you would be better off if they left. We learned to cut toxic people off in 2020 didn’t we?
Stay true to who you are, and be unapologetically yourself. Laugh even louder. Be bold. And please, for the love of God do not let people interrupt you.
3. What do you want out of life?
This is a really important question. What do you want out of this life you were given? You are here for a reason and life is so short.
It’s important to set goals and decide what exactly you want. Even so, nobody can set that intention for you. YOU decide what makes you feel fulfilled.
So what do you want? Think BIG.
Now show up for yourself. Don’t make excuses and do not rely on motivation. Motivation is temporary. Practice being driven and be consistent. If you show up for yourself I promise you there is no one getting in the way of what you want.
Let people doubt you if they so desire. But don’t you ever doubt yourself.
4. Do what scares you most
No. I’m not telling you to be stupid and make poor decisions. But let me ask you something. Why haven’t you done it yet? You know, that thing in the back of your mind that you’ve been wanting to try for awhile now? Is it because you are scared what people will think of you?
Eleanor Roosevelt is known for many incredible quotes, but a powerful one in particular is: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
This goes along with Tip #2. You want to start a shoe business? Who’s to say you aren’t 1000% capable? If people comment about it, that is their own personal issue. Be kind and respectful, but also hold your own. Life is too short to look back and say, “Man. I wish I hadn’t listened to the people trying to hold me back.”
“You know starting a shoe business is such an unpredictable and hard way to become successful…”
That’s fear talking. The authentic, unapologetic version of you would say: I believe in me and this is what I want out of life. I will do what I can to succeed and I am going to take the steps to get where I want to be. If people doubt me, “And what about it?”
Believe in YOU. If you don’t, who will?
5. Love others for who they are and even for who they are not
Every single person that comes into your life is there to teach you something. That lesson can be big or small, but regardless it is a lesson and every person you encounter is a teacher in your life.
With that being said, you can learn so much about yourself just by making these connections (big or small) with people that have different beliefs, opinions, cultures, lifestyles, you name it. Reflect on yourself and the relationships you have/had in the past. Learn from those mistakes you have made and what they taught you.
Love others for who they are, and even for their setbacks. That’s what makes them authentic. Our differences allow the world to progress, so treat people with kindness and a level of respect, as you would want the same for yourself.
6. It’s okay to be alone
Being alone is not such a bad thing. In fact, sometimes we need it. Being alone has become an uncomfortable concept and some people feel like spending time alone is almost…abnormal.
But with this virus, most of us were forced to spend time by ourselves. I will be the first to admit that it is not always easy being alone. There have been many days where I have felt lost and upset. It’s all normal, though. If you are feeling lonely, understand that things will get better and you will learn more about yourself from this experience.
Being comfortable spending time alone is a big step towards reaching authenticity. Trust me, you can benefit tremendously from this if you look at being alone as a good thing. Think of someone you look up to or who has made a big impact on the world. I guarantee those people have spent many times alone, and have even spent more times facing rejection alone.
Being alone can bring out parts of you that you would never have discovered otherwise.
This time in quarantine is the best opportunity we can take to be alone. Take advantage of this extra time with yourself.
Authenticity comes from within and when you can be tranquil by yourself, you have taken a big step towards being unapologetically you.
Okay, sunshine. This was a long post but I really hope you enjoyed it and learned something from it. You are beautiful and wonderful and valuable and everything in between. Let’s go into this new year with a better mentality, striving to push ourselves a little more everyday.
Don’t forget to check out the last blog post and follow the Instagram to stay updated whenever a new post comes out!
You matter. Never forget that! Xoxo.
Authenticity: How to be Unapologetically Yourself
Authenticity: How to be Unapologetically Yourself Authenticity: How to be Unapologetically Yourself Authenticity: How to be Unapologetically Yourself Authenticity: How to be Unapologetically Yourself Authenticity: How to be Unapologetically Yourself Authenticity: How to be Unapologetically Yourself Authenticity: How to be Unapologetically Yourself Authenticity: How to be Unapologetically Yourself Authenticity: How to be Unapologetically Yourself
